A Finely "Polished" Poo

Shit got real (literally) when my 4 year old hollered for toilet assistance recently. While I was super thrilled that she actually went on her own without a fight, I had just taken a solid 5 minutes to myself and painted my nails right before I was summoned to the scene of the crime. I had two choices, try and help her, or create a stall tactic and buy some time so my nails could dry. Because lets face it, I was out of nail polish remover and wasn't going to haul to kids to Target to get more once I ruined my paint job wiping tush. I would walk out of there spending $100 dollars on clearance items that end in a .48 or .98 (Frequent Target shoppers know the drill there) when all I really needed was polish remover for .97 cents.

So what do I do? I walk in the bathroom, turn on some music, and do a little potty dance to help buy some time while the freshly painted nails on my baby hands dry. I'm fairly certain that if my life was recorded, I would have a nice savings account by now. Not for my dancing skills, but for all the randomness that happens around here on the daily. Kaelyn started at me with the OH MY GOSH MOM face for about two seconds, wiped her own rear, and high tailed it outta there. I guess it was really a win for me since she finally took matters into her own hands, again...literally...and I got some cardio in for the day with my dance moves, since we all know I don't work out. I got cocky for 2 seconds, clenched my fist, and did a little yesssssssssssss dance move to myself to celebrate the fact that my kid finally wiped her own ass.

That is when I ruined my freshly painted nails ya'll.

Off to Target we go. I walked out with ziplock bags, toothpaste, Clorox wipes, diapers, an owl t-shirt and undergarments. Didn't even think to get the nail polish remover. Target is evil, pure evil.

Some days the girls are just growing up too fast for this Mama's liking. While I am THRILLED my oldest finally wants to use the toilet alone, other areas of growth are creeping me out. Last week I walked down the street to get her from playing with the neighbors. Ben is one of her "boyfriends" and as she walks toward me I see her turn around and put her hand on Bens face. She said goodbye and as she walked away she said..."I'll kiss you later Ben, on the face!" WHHHHHHATTTTTTTTTTT?! Little Leah chimes in and says "Yeah on the face!" while throwing her fist in air. My little lover and my little fighter, two complete opposites.