Hide Yo Kids, Hide Yo Knives.

I would be lying if I said I hadn't had some oh so stellar parenting moments that allowed me to be crowned Mother of the year. It's happened and it's happened more than once. I'm sure it will happen plenty of times from here on out as well. You can't beat yourself up over every small mistake you make as a parent. There was the time when Kaelyn was a newborn and I accidentally hit her car seat (which I had set on the ground) with the car door and knocked her over. Luckily she was strapped in. Or the time I was so in awe of my first born baby girl that I was just staring at her in my arms while walking into her room. Well I missed the doorway and rammed my infants head into the wall. Another winning moment would be during a kids birthday party. Kaelyn was just walking then and while we were singing happy birthday, K decided to help herself to someone's can of beer on the table. She poured it all over herself. It's still a mystery if she actually consumed any of the delicious Blue Moon in a can.

Today though, today may take the cake for my parenting fails. Baby proofing? Come on, that's for amateurs and paranoid helicopter parents right?! That's how I USED to feel until today. Apparently my ego was too big for my midget britches. Nothing really had to be baby proofed with Kaelyn, so I think I had a false sense of security with my belief that you don't really need to do it. I guess she just wasn't as...um....adventurous as her little sis is turning out to be. When I was a kid I remember seeing the Mr. Yuk sticker on something and I knew not to touch it. I also knew to leave things like knives, booze and cigarettes alone. However, there is one story from when I was a tiny tot where I may have grabbed something that resembled a cig off the counter and ran around the house saying "Smoking is bad!" I now know that it wasn't a cigarette after all, but whatever, potatoe-potato right?

** Side note- Does anyone else remember getting those chalk cigarettes as kids?! What a twisted thing for kids to love getting. It's probably why I grabbed the wacky tabacky off the counter that day when I was a young buck. Who knows, another unsolved mystery I suppose. **

So anyways, back to the story at hand. While cleaning the house today I run into the laundry room to switch the load. I come back into the main part of the house, walk around the corner and see my 10inch chef's knife, aka the BFK (big 'bleepin' knife) on the living room floor! Yes, you read that right.....10 INCH KNIFE. Nobody is near it. Leah and the dog were on the other side of the house playing in Kaelyns room. So after my initial panic that someone was hiding around the corner wearing the mask from Scream, and getting ready to attack me, I realized that the Gremlin was the only other person that could be to blame for grabbing the knife out of the TOP drawer. Dang that Leah...Chucky...Stewie...Tracy!!! That moment was one of the few times I was so thankful her attention span is non existent. I'm sure she grabbed the knife but it wasn't really even about the knife, it was more about the challenge of how to get to it. Pushing a chair out of the way (one that's usually blocking the drawers) grabbing a stool and opening the drawer to get the knife. Once she succeeded in her mission, she had no actual use for it but just isn't smart enough yet to hide the evidence of her break in into my cutlery drawer.

Forget that funny guy on YouTube that said "Hide yo kids, hide yo wives." In this house it's more like hide yo kids, hide yo knives!

 

I took a picture of the lovely 10inch knife but can't bring myself to post it. I am so freaked out  that she got to it in 2.5 seconds and am BEYOND, BEYOND, BEYOND thankful that she just did a drop and run.

 

Baby proofing......it's for real ya'll!