Your Body Is a Wonderland

If you can't handle reading about what happens to your body after having a baby, STOP HERE!!!

However, if you are down for loads of TMI as well as me totally embarrassing myself, read on my friends!

Well. Looking back at my body in it's glory days I was pretty satisfied. I have always been petite with a lil junk in the trunk. Toss in two kids in a few years and I hardly recognize myself! Now this isn't some pity me party or anything I am just honestly amazed at how much your body changes after having kids. For those of you that understand where I can coming from know that what once was considered a nice rack, aka boobies, turned into feeding machines(for some, sadly not me) and then into useless skin bags. They will remain in useless skin bag status until you cash in a chunk of your 401k and puff those babies up a bit. You have extra skin in places you really wish you didn't. I now totally understand what a muffin top is and I'm starting to get the concept of mom jeans....they hide all your "icky bits." Some peoples feet change sizes. The nice hair you had during your pregnancy begins to fall out in clumps every time you touch it and you have raccoon eyes no matter how much concealer you use.

I do have a few friends that I'm pretty convinced are freaks of nature and lose the baby weight overnight...I have no comments about you and your freaky ways! Moving on.....

I think by far the worst part of the aftermath from having children would be.......... the leakage. Yup, a little pee when ya sneeze, cough or laugh really hard at something. I used to find it funny when people would laugh so hard they would pee themselves...until it happened to me. Ok, so I still laugh but it's really a pain in the arse! This issue is the whole reason behind this post....

The other day I decided that I am going to tackle this muffin top once and for all. I don't have time to go to a gym, nor a desire so I needed to do things at home. I found a little workout I can do throughout the day when I have time to get me started. And when I say little I mean LITTLE. It starts off with 50 jumping jacks. Shoot. I got this, you do jumping jacks in grade school. I get to 10 and all the sudden I feel a leak. WHAT! I tried to power through but it was pretty much impossible. I moved on with the mini muffin removal workout and was totally winded after doing three things. I tried to resume my jumping jacks at the very end. Once again, no bueno. What did I learn from workout #1???? I either need to wear depends or avoid anything that involves jumping!

What is the craziest thing that has happened to you since having children?!?! Please share so I am not the only one letting it all "hang" out there! :)

Can I take you home?

I saw a lady dressed like Laura Ingalls from Little House On The Prairie walking down my street this afternoon and I was able to get my NO SOLICITING PLEASE sign out just in time. Leah was snoozin and if you have read my past blogs you know..... You NEVER wake the ba-bay! She never rang our door bell so I assume she saw my sign, or the dog. Maybe it was the stench from the poo diapers on the porch, i really don't know...i'm just glad she didn't ring the bell.

 I really don't have much to report, just the same ol ish, different day! The biggest change in our lives is that I went back to work a few weeks ago. It's only two nights a week but I am loving it! Lakewood is still the same.....full of creepies. I was ringing up a man the other night and he had these glasses on that made his eyeballs HUGE. I asked him if he would like a bag for his purchase or if he wanted to take it home the way it was. He paused, looked at me and said.... Can I take you home instead? You are so pretty and you are shorter than me, which never happens. (I'm 5ft, he was maybe an inch taller.) I tried to laugh it off and while keeping his serious stare with those large eyes he said, im serious, you are so pretty. Just having a baby I am down for flattery wherever I can get it but I have to draw the line somewhere.... move on creepy man. Move on.

Kaelyn still loves school. I love that she loves school but I don't love that she is at the age of repeating everything!!! Whenever she cries or whines we say things like Kaelyn stop crying, you aren't a baby you are a big girl! Well, last week she came home from school talking about how her Pastor is a baby because he has a boo boo on his knee and he cries like a baby. Even though I laughed I really hope she didn't tell him that!

Leah is still too small to really have many crazy stories to share. She did kinda puke in my mouth the other day when I was giving her a kiss but I am trying to forget about that!

My mom had a birthday last week and my sister and I were able to take her to dinner. It was such a nice evening. We went to this cute french bistro and I was feeling like such a chic adult out on the town. Ok, so what if it was downtown Steilacoom. I was downtown somewhere! The chef came out and said happy birthday to my mom in French, asked if we liked our meal and went on to the next table. My Mom, Sister and I go to make a toast..... My sister says happy bday in Spanish and my mom said it in German, what did I say?????? I hope you live a lot of years biaaatch. WHAT!!!! Even though we all laughed until we almost had tears in our eyes I couldn't believe that came out of my mouth....to my mother! I had never felt so uneducated in my life! Complete word vomit. I am generally good with words and everyone else was able to say something in another language and all I could muster up was live a lot of years biaaatch. Total fail, funny...but a fail no less! I decided to call it a night when we went into the pub after dinner and the karaoke chick showed up 5 minutes later wearing a blue wig, glitter boy shorts and a cupcake bra/pasty concoction.

Never a dull moment!

CELEBRITIES ARE MY FRIENDS.... NO REALLY THEY ARE.

I never understood people's obsession with famous people. The way people would cry at concerts screaming "I LOVE YOU JUSTIN" was beyond me. Or when watching talk shows I was confused at how people could say "Oprah, watching your show changed my life! You saved me!" I felt this way until I was stuck at home full time with 2 kids and the TV became a lifeline for me. Ok, so not really a lifeline (we do plenty of other non TV activities but I am home more since having Leah)  I found that I started looking forward to certain shows during the day. I usually have the TV on for background noise simply so I can hear other adult voices during the day. One can only handle so much toddler talk. I need to make sure I maintain my adult conversation skills because nothing bothers me more than parents that constantly use the baby talk voice!

I realized I was starting to cross over into the I love celebrities phase when I started talking about Ellen DeGeneres as if she was my friend. I love Ellen, she makes me laugh every single time I watch her show, she is a super kind lady and I really do look forward to her coming on in the afternoons. I still haven't figured out if it's just her humor I like or if it's because that means Aaron will be home from work soon! Yes! Another adult in the house!!! Anyways, I noticed I was becoming creepy when I would say things to Aaron like "Ellen gave so and so a pair of underwear today and they wore them, It was hysterical!" And if you don't watch her show you don't know they deal with the Ellen undies. It wasn't just that I was talking about her show, it's that I said something about her show almost daily and I would say it as if Ellen was an old home girl from high school or something.

I knew it was time for a change when I found myself watching Honey Boo-Boo. If you haven't watch this show, don't! Your jaw will drop to the floor at how low reality TV has gone.

However, because I couldn't resist (even though I told you not to watch it) Here is a clip of Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo for your viewing pleasure.....If ya don't know, now ya know!

After watching an episode of this show I went and got my old job back! Tonight is my first night. Hopefully I will get enough adult interaction that I will stop talking about Ellen like she is my BFF.

"Ping"idential Debates 2012

In lieu of the Presidential Debates last night Mr. and Mrs. Pingul had a little debate of their own. No, I am not going to talk about Obama or Romney. I really don't like politics. I do however enjoy a good debate. So last night Aaron and I were watching the debate and I was doing some things around the house at the same time. Leah was having her usual evening fit making it hard to hear the TV. Aaron, who was doing nothing wrong said he was going to go into the bedroom and watch it there. Being difficult I told him I didn't want him to because I had been home all day with the girls and Mom's maybe you will agree with me here- I don't care that he was watching TV and I was doing things around the house. I just NEEDED another adult around in the same room and if he went into the bedroom it would be as if he was on another planet, in my mind anyways.

 I gave Leah a bath, dressed her and as I am about to get Kaelyn ready for hers he says HE wants to do it. I know he meant well and he always helps, he really is a super duper dad but I knew that he really wanted to watch the debate so I told him not to worry and I would give Kaelyn her bath. I'm sure he thought that was code word for I know I said I would do it but I really mean I want you to do it and I will be mad at you later for not picking up on my secret wife language.So there we stood in the hallway going back and forth over who would bathe her. "No, I insist let me. No really it's ok i'll do it. I don't care, I will just give her a bath." yadayadayada. We are both stubborn and could stay there until the sun went down going back and forth over who would give the kid a bath! :) So Aaron ends up doing it. I sit down on the couch with Leah and a few minutes later I hear Aaron say something........

WAIT FOR IT..........

Kaelyn shat in the tub!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahaha I am pretty sure that was the first time that has EVER happened.

Ya win some, ya lose some babe. :)