Release Me, Opihi.

Kids come in all shapes, sizes and personalities. People with multiple kids may also experience a vast difference between their children in terms of personality traits and temperaments (say vast difference too fast and it sounds like vas deferens, which is a totally different subject. Ok. Ok. I'm getting totally off track here!)

I happen to be a parent with two kids that has one of each. One with a more calm nature and the other is...well...just not as calm. Don't get me wrong, I love them both to bits and smithereens. One just makes me question my sanity a little more than the other at this current stage in parenting game. Never a dull moment type of thing.

We've experienced some major life transitions in the last year. Their Dad and I went through a divorce. Correction- still going through one. We moved away from the only home they've ever known, and while we LOVE our new digs at the Blu Berry Bungalow, moving is still a major adjustment for little people. Well during all this chaos my little Gremmy Gremlin Leah decided to take a turn for the stage 5 clinger status and become absolutely obsessed with me. I'm not talking the oh I love my Mommy phase. It's more like when she looks at me I can hear her say IF YOU LEAVE ME I WILL FIND YOU! Quick! Name that movie!?

Well find me is just what she does. I can't move an inch without her noticing. It's like parental prison, the Pingul State Penitentiary. We started calling her Opihi. Opihi's are little mollusks that cling to sea rocks. I'm her sea rock in this scenario in case you were wondering. She's there when I pee. When I change. When I move into another room. When I breathe... It's not like she's just there lingering either, most of the time she is crying/screaming if some sort of me isn't physically attached to her. She screams like shes injured if im not in her sight. We even have to snuggle a certain way so that she can have as much of me intertwined with her as possible.

She is the Alcatraz of snuggles. There is no way out.

I've recently started looking at daycare options for her and went to tour one today. I had a feeling she wasn't going to be thrilled, but I didn't expect what went down this afternoon.

We walk into a room full of kids perfectly quiet and sitting still eating a snack of sauteed cabbage. It was like viewing a still painting of something you don't see often, or seeing pictures on Facebook of your friends kids being absolute angels while yours are off rubbing feces on the walls. (That doesn't actually happen in my house, but you catch my drift.) She seemed ok. My anxiety for how she will react fades somewhat and I start to wonder why I was so worried. The woman asks that I see how she will do with me leaving the room.

Leah's world pretty much ended at that moment. Screams. Stomps. Fake cries. HOLD ME MOM! NO PUT ME DOWN! COME OUTSIDE! COME INSIDE! THIS IS BORING HERE! LEEEEETTTTS GOOO! Then she randomly started screaming MY BUTT, MY BUTT!

I'm starting to sweat and we continue to tour anyways. I chew her out in my head while begging her to be good at the same time. Don't ruin this for Mommy sweetie, I need to work a little more and you REALLY need some friends. Please be good and then meltdown in the car later. Nothing seems to work so we finish our chat and head out. The kind woman says goodbye to Leah and Leah decides to roll her eyes and give her a very nice scowl.

As a parent, you can sometimes help explain a kids behavior. Oh, she had 18 fruit snacks today or she didn't nap. I was at a loss. Leah is a very smart little tyke and I know she needs some friends and a good structured setting, outside of the home. But hot damn! She got me today.

We get into the car and the tears instantly fade. She says "That was fun Mom, but I don't want friends." Then passed out within 30 seconds.

Fun?! For who kiddo?! I maybe cried, just for a second, because I got played. BIGTIME.

I got 18 new wrinkles today, I pitted out in my shirt and I thoroughly enjoyed a strawberry smash after the kids went to bed tonight. What is a strawberry smash you ask? It's really not that important, just know contains vodka. 

While I'm well aware that Leah will probably adjust fine once she gets comfortable, it doesn't make the process of getting there any easier. The only alternative is to wear one of those velcro bodysuits and have her hang on me all day while I pretend to work and be an average adult.