Vaginas in China?

There are funny moments in parenting. Sad moments. Frustrating moments.

Then there are moments like this....

K- What do the boys and the girls have Mommy?! Do I have a penis?

Me-No kiddo. Boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina.

K-So I don't have a penis...yet?

Me- Awkward pause.... her youth flashes before my eyes and I start to panic.

No. You have a vagina.

How do you explain this to a 4 year old?! I am naturally a very matter of fact person, so that is the approach I decided to take when explaining the P and V to my first born. If I went about it the wrong way, I will learn and correct it once the Gremlin asks the same question one day.

For days she would ask "Does so and so have a penis Mom? Does the dog have lots of penises or vaginas?" Most days this was before I had consumed any of my luke warm/cold coffee I need to survive as a parent. She would ask where these parts are located. The day she told me that they are gross, I finally thought the topic had died down some. I was wrong. She was just gearing up for more questions. Somehow asking does so and so have this turned into "Mom what's on their butt? A P or a V?" No kid, our private parts are on the front. Speaking of private, it's ok that you ask me these questions but you need to understand that these are private parts and should you have any questions ask Mom and Dad instead of random people in the grocery store.

So the other morning we were snuggling in my bed and watching a cartoon, I was barely awake and Kaelyn struck up another private part convo.

K-EWWWWW GROSS! Mom why is Olivia is going to VaChina!?

Me- Kaelyn she is going to China. China is a country, that's different.

K- So my vagina is a country? We live in the United States of America Mom, is that a vagina country too?

Me- No Kaelyn CHINA is a country all by itself, just like the United States. Olivia from the cartoon is going there to visit. It has nothing to do with private parts. I know it sounds similar, but the two are not connected ok.

K- Gahhh this stuff is really confusing Mom.

Me- You have no idea girlfriend.

So later that day we were driving past a farm that had some cows.

K- Are those cows Mom?

Me- Yes.

K- What do they have on their butts? Vaginas in China or a penis?

Me- Kaelyn! China is a country and a Va.........nevermind! You know what cows give us? Milk!

K- How Mom?

Me- (Gloating thinking I've successfully changed the subject for a bit.) Well they have these things called utters and you if you squeeze them, milk comes out.

K- Oh yeah Mom and the farmers put it in a bucket!

Me- Yes!!

K- Do your utters milk too Mom? Do you put it a bucket? Do boys have utters or just the girls?

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!